There Is Nothing Behind The Curtain Of Now

Coming to recognize and reconcile with the truth that there is literally no past and no future has big implications. It means that nothing has ever happened. If you want freedom you have to see that you have no history. This means your ‘poor me’ history and your ‘great me’ history are myths. And if they are myths then they are meaningless and they hold no sway over you now - you are free. When I say all there is, is now, it is not a spiritual platitude, like ‘be in the now.’ It is true. There is no past, period. There is no future, period. Time is a mind created concept appearing in the eternal here and now. The only thing you actually know, the only thing you cannot deny and that needs no thought at all to know, and the only thing that is actual is, here and now I am - this knowing that knows itself. And this knowing is not of a 'self', the time created myth of me. It is no thing, simply what is here and now, knowing all of the appearances that come and go.

Inquirer -You were making a comment on one of the old audios that there is only now and everything appears and disappears moment to moment. I said I had read that the universe arises and disappears and you said yes, I had an experience and recognized that. My response was that I can only believe that, I can understand the concept. What was that experience and how does one get there?

One doesn't get there; it just happened spontaneously. But that experience doesn't matter at all. Clearly there is only now, and clearly everything is just appearing now. If you get the mind out of the picture for a moment—the mind that says this now has something to do with the past and is heading into the future, like, I can't be happy now because of something that happened to me in the past but I am going to be better or more enlightened in the future—then the only thing that is actual is now. All else is thought. It is using a concept called past and future and painting a picture that is not actual now. So don't do that for a moment at all. Really, don't do it and just look here now. What do you actually know about what is here and now?

The only thing you can truly say, the only thing you actually know is that here and now what is, is. If you are honest, the only thing you can say is that what is appearing now is appearing now. Anything other than that you need to use some kind of concept based on time. Is that clear?

Inquirer -Yes, that's clear.

If you jump off the carousel of that conceptual philosophizing, then what is appearing has to be appearing now only; it is the only thing you can honestly say. It's a big step for most people because it is very stark. There is nothing; it doesn't give you anything to hold on to as far as knowledge or philosophy, like knowing where you came from or where you are going. So in this way it is the unknown, and that can seem to be an insecure position. But, the concepts of past and future are in fact not secure, because they do not exist and in that way can not be depended on at all. The only thing that can be known, or depended on, is now. So in truth it is the only actual security.

Another way to say it simply is - what is, is. Not what is, is because it came from the big bang 4 billion years ago. Not what is, is because of something that happened in the past, karma, etc,. What is, is - PERIOD. No past - PERIOD. No reason. No meaning.

There is nothing behind the curtain of this moment. There is no past. There is no future. If you say there is, where is it?? In the play of life, all of these things like time and past appear to exist, in the play, here and now. But they have no empirical truth or fact. There is nothing to substantiate to your so-called past except some vague thoughts that are not even dependable. And there is no proof of any future except your projections of hope and imagination.

But this here and now is clearly known, it cannot be denied. It does not need the concept of time, it does not need thoughts and memories, it just is. The play of life is an appearance. Images on the movie screen appear to be real, but there is nothing substantial to them. The only thing that is, is the screen. Now is that screen. Knowing is the screen. What is appearing now, including ideas of past and future, is an insubstantial image, appearing, like a movie, now. Like the movie, it appears and dissolves now, not coming from anywhere and not going anywhere.

The reason you would want to know that there is only here and now is because you want to know what is true. And in coming to know this, you see that this story of self is not true. And if it is clear to you that it is not true then it becomes clear to you that you have no history. And if it is clear to you that you have no history, much of the past-based ideas— poor me stories, self-judgments, blaming of others, victim-hood, etc., and the future-based concepts of hope and comparing your current unsatisfactory state with a better state—lose the power to cause suffering, or seeking, now. A lot of nonsense falls away when this is resolved. And it is resolved by getting real and being brutally honest about what you actually know, what is actually true. Know what's true, and truth shall set you free.

The scientists say there was a big bang 4 billion years ago. I disagree. The big bang is now. This is it, here and now.

Essential Being is Center-less yet Includes the Personal Vantage

My experience, or knowing of whom I am, is not exclusively as a center of awareness, located in this body. While there is clearly a vantage point from this body—which is based on the five senses as known by the function of personal consciousness, the fundamental function of this body—that is not the whole story.

Simultaneous to that personal vantage point of knowing or experiencing from here, there is the experience, or more accurately, knowing of who I am, as center-less. These occur at the same time.

Some people claim to have come to a point where there is no sense of self, or personal vantage point, it having somehow vanished completely. While I don't deny their experience because I don't know their experience, so I don't say they are being untruthful, in my own experience, that is not the case. The so-called personal sense of self—which is based on the fundamental experience of personal consciousness, which then knows thoughts, emotions and the five sensory mechanisms of experience—is an appearance that comes and goes, like a wave in the ocean, never the same, appearing and then vanishing completely. While simultaneously, the knowing that I am aware and center-less, not centered anywhere, and includes and knows all of those personal functions, is obvious and present at all times, unchanging.

This is an all-inclusive view and does not deny the appearance of an ephemeral, personal self, nor does it insist on the necessity to get rid of any personal self. All is included—essential being, which is aware and has no qualities whatsoever, and is center-less, being timeless and dimensionless, and the so-called personal appearances of consciousness, thoughts, emotions and the five sensory mechanisms, which create the personal vantage/experience.

So this does not deny our humanity or find a need to transcend our humanity. It does not need to transcend self or kill the ego or anything like that.

Essential being is prior to—meaning it is, before, during and after all of the personal experiences—and knows the fleeting personal experience as well as itself and includes everything, unconditionally.

Aware is your essential nature and points to freedom

One of the most common devices of teachers on the path is to tell people to look within, or go inside, something along those lines. But I think this can be misleading and confusing. It gives the impression that you are inside somewhere. This is exactly what we have to stop believing. You are not within anything. Whenever I tried to do that on the path I only felt claustrophobic. Even if it brought some peace or bliss it was still limited to body/mind. And also to look within makes you think that you will discover SOMETHING. But the NO-THING that you are cannot be found within, or anywhere in fact. The idea of ‘looking within’ just supports the idea of separation.

What is needed is to momentarily let go of idea, feeling or sense that this form is the center of our existence. And to then recognize our true, center-less existence. It is about allowing attention to be free and open instead of 'self-focused'. When this “my body/mind is the center of my existence” idea is dropped then it is known that I am not ‘in’ anything. This is when you discover the ultimate joke. There is a sense of limitless existence, unattached, un-centered, instead of the feeling/sense of self-focus. This points to freedom, who I truly am. Here there is no dimension, no time. Just here, now, eternal. So simple and so obvious.

One way to recognize this is to have a look at the idea that, ‘I am aware’. In that sentence it appears that there is an 'I/self' who is 'aware'. Aware is used as an adverb. This supports the belief that we are centered in a body looking outward and being aware. But instead of using aware as an adverb what if we make the word 'aware' synonymous with the word 'I'? I and aware are not different. Or, aware is who I am. This stops the mind from creating the idea that there is an ‘I’ who is ‘aware’. This way we let go of this body as the center from where we look outwardly and there is just that which is freely aware. Unattached to body, not centered inside, but free. Just one seamless aware which is both and neither inside nor outside the body. This will instantly take you out of the belief identification with mind and body. It is a simple and immediate way to recognize what is true, here and now, so obvious. It is not seeking, it is finding. It is not a path and it takes no time. It’s more like a light switch. First it is dark. You throw the switch. And then it is light. It takes no time.

But the problem comes because almost no one wants this absolutely utter simplicity. Mind will say, ‘This can't be the holy grail, it can’t be this simple’. That’s because there is nothing to get here. No experience, no bliss, no ecstasy, nothing special. No flashing lights or explosions. But this is where freedom lies. This shows you immediately, in no time, that you are already essentially free. This recognition is the door to liberation. In fact it is liberation itself. And when you see this you know that you can either value what is free, here and now, or once again identify with this body/mind and instantly create the claustrophobic limitation and suffering that that identification brings. This is an effortless means of inquiry. Whenever you find yourself identified with thought just stop and recognize that 'freely aware is who I am'. And let that free you from the limitation of identifying with body and mind.

So the question arises, ‘Is this a practice that has a future goal?” The answer is that it is a very simple inquiry that can show what is true now. It points to the ultimate joke, that, 'I am not this body, or inside this body, I am free.' It is already liberation itself; however, if one still wants more… experience, self-identification, suffering, then it will seem too ordinary, simple and obvious. This recognition is the essential foundation of liberation. If one is truly authentic about being free then once this is recognized one will come to believe less and less in the amalgamation of self-identified thoughts, feelings and sensations as who I am exclusively. I don't say it is a path, because it is true in every moment already. As the saying goes, ‘The path and the goal are one’. So this should not be used as a tool for some enlightenment in the future, but simply as a recognition of what is true now, that who you are is freedom itself already. This inquiry points to freedom now.

As Ramana Maharshi says, 'Abide as the Self.' But, without calling it Self, just abide as your essential free nature... simplicity itself, freely aware, here and now. No-thing. Unidentified, yet alive. This should not be used as a path but as a way to recognize what is eternally true now, over and over... and always. See again and again what is true, that you are now, and always have been, free.

Feelings and Emotions

"Trust your feelings." "Just go with what you feel." "You don't express your feelings enough." We've been trained by our cultures and societies to think this way, that how we feel is an indication of truth or wisdom, or in some way indicates how we are doing or what we should do. But is that really so? Have we questioned this? It is very important to recognize this misunderstanding and to see the confusion and suffering it causes.


People have been trusting their feelings since the beginning of history and look what a mess it has gotten us into both on a personal level and on the level of world separation. Hitler certainly trusted his feelings, a little too much obviously. Okay, that is an extreme example, but what about you? Have your feelings always been trustworthy? Has going with your feelings always brought a desired and beneficial result? I venture to say no, certainly not in my case anyway.


Feelings are fleeting appearances triggered by stimuli either within this body mind organism or coming from outside of this body mind. They are naturally arising events, but in no way are they an indication of intelligent action nor do they indicate anything about us.


I am not saying that emotions are bad or should be denied. Nor am I saying that they should be gotten rid of. They are a perfectly natural and normal human appearance.


But, living at the whim of your emotional and feeling life is clearly bondage. When emotions are pleasant we think we are doing well. When they are unpleasant we think that something is wrong with us. This is the seesaw ride that keeps us in confusion and suffering. Even inherent in pleasant emotional states is the deep knowledge that they will end, and this causes clinging and attachment, not wanting them to end and fearing that they will. But they will end. The nature of all appearances, without exception, is that they appear and disappear. No appearance is eternal.


Why not be free of emotions? I'm not saying to not have emotions. Free of emotions means knowing who you are, your essential aware nature, that is before, during and after the appearance of emotions, and enjoying that, knowing that you are fine, no matter what your emotional state is. It means not being tossed around like a twig in the ocean just because the fickle waves of mind are active. When you know yourself as the vast ocean what does it matter what a few waves are up to?


So, how can we come to know this freedom in our own experience? Simple. Just let whatever is appearing appear without caring one way or another, and simultaneously notice your essential aware nature, that you are aware. Just don't care what is going on in your mind. In that moment you will begin to recognize what freedom is.


Freedom is your essential nature and it is not dependent at all on circumstances — physical, emotional or mental.


Try this for some time. When an emotion is arising, good or bad, just stop focusing on it for a few seconds and recognize that you are aware. Don't expect the emotion to change. Just notice your essential aware nature, that you are here, present, aware and that regardless of what you think or feel, all is well. Just notice, that's all. Soon you will begin to trust in that more than you trust in how you feel. You will begin to realize experientially what freedom is. It is who you are already. You come to know yourself differently than you had before.


You are already free, you just think that the ups and downs of your emotional life indicate that you are not. Find out if that is true. Check it out.

Freedom is not an experience

Freedom is not an experience. It is not dependent on how you feel—good or bad. It is not even dependent on always recognizing your essential nature at all times. It is knowing without doubt and being convinced that who you are, essentially, is free.


Up till now in life you have trusted your experiences, especially thoughts and emotions, to indicate how you are doing. This is just how you were taught.


It is a matter of just letting all of those thoughts and emotions be as they are, because you know you are free. And if you are not convinced that you are free then just keep letting them be anyway and keeping noticing your essential aware nature, while they are appearing. This will convince you.



 

Try this experiment below during your day.

 




No matter what appears, pleasant or  unpleasant, 

don't attend to it.




Just don't attend to how you are feeling, whether good or bad.

Place no value on it either way.

Ignore. 




In that moment notice that you are aware,

not only aware of the feelings,

but aware of whatever is appearing here and now.

The feelings are just one appearance in millions of appearances 

all happening now.

They are all appearing to you.  

 Your essential nature is aware.

Aware of all of it.

So don't focus in on or attend to however you are feeling.

Let attention be free and open,

and see that all is included,

and that your experience is not limited to a particular emotional state.    




            In doing so, you will begin to notice that you are free.

  Whether you feel good or bad,

simultaneous to that,

you are freely aware.

Attend to that, your essential

free

aware

  nature. 

In doing so at all times, 

by abiding as such,

 you will become convinced

that you are free. 


 

The Ground of Knowing

You are here, before, during and after all appearances as the ground of knowing that knows all of the changing form and data. Your essential nature knows itself, and all that appears in, to and as itself.

What almost all seekers do is look to the experience as that thing. For example, a wonderful mystical experience that is far different from our normal conscious experience. When this happens it can be quite exhilarating and compelling. We can feel that this experience is akin to enlightenment or something like that.

But, as with every and all experiences, it appears, stays a while and then vanishes, leaving no trace. Then we may be left with a sense of lacking something or of disappointment. So we long for that experience to come again and last forever, but it never does.

With unpleasant experiences we have the opposite desire—that it leaves and never comes again. So we may fear or shun possible future unpleasant experiences.

But what is here before during and after all of those experiences? You are here as the ground of knowing, that which doesn’t come and go and knows all experiences. Coming to know this aspect of yourself is a shift of knowing, from being ‘lost’ in appearances to the relief of knowing yourself as essentially untouched by experience.

All appearances, pleasant, unpleasant, ordinary or extraordinary are equal in that they appear, stay a while and then vanish, leaving only you, ever here and ever the same.